


Time to bring out the big guns

by MightyAmphitrite



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, Confusion, Crack, Deadpool being Deadpool, Fix-It, Gen, Humor, M/M, Puppets, Steve Feels, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, adults using their words, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 17:45:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18370967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MightyAmphitrite/pseuds/MightyAmphitrite
Summary: Earth is on the brink of war.The universe hangs in the balance.Deadpool handled all that. He has a bigger mission: helping Tony and Steve reunite and getting the Avengers back together. Project Friendship is a go.





	Time to bring out the big guns

Tony took several deep breaths, slowing from a jog to a cool-down walk and checking his Stark Watch for his vital statistics. Heart rate up, cholesterol down, 48 more steps than Tuesday's run. He looked forward to telling Pepper over brunch, after he figured out what Stephen Strange wanted. It had been a bit odd to find a handwritten note in his mailbox, but wizards were eccentric, right?

"Why would I send you a paper note?" Strange asked moments later, when Tony showed up at his door and showed him the note in question. "I have your email address."

"Weird," Tony murmured, staring at the note in confusion. "I'll look into it; sorry to bother you."

Strange shrugged. "Take care, Stark."

"Later." Tony walked slowly down the street, shoving the note into his pocket. Why would someone send him a message and say it was from Strange? As some kind of joke?

"I just needed to get you out of the Tower so we could talk."

Tony spun around, a nanotech repulsor materializing over one hand and the other reaching for his phone, and saw a man at his side dressed head to toe in a tight red suit and matching mask. But instead of reaching for the swords at his back, the man gave Tony a cheerful wave. "Deep breaths, friend. Your heart rate's spiking."

"Is this an ambush?" Tony asked, looking around for more danger. Other than a few dog walkers and confused tourists, they were the only people around.

"I just wanted to chat about a couple things," he said, holding up his hands non-threateningly. "So, introductions: I'm Deadpool, and you're Tony Stark. _Huge_ fan, by the way. I can't grow a goatee to save my life, but that doesn't stop me from trying. How was your run?"

Tony's head was spinning. "You sent the note for some one-on-one time with me? Not giving me lots of confidence here, Pal. What's so important-"

"The world was ending," Deadpool cut in, "but I fixed it. That's the first thing I want to talk about. On second thought, let’s do the second thing first… come on over, fellas!”

Tony turned slowly on the spot and saw a very confused Steve Rodgers walking over, Bucky Barnes at his heels. Tony blinked, but they were still there, and kept getting closer until Steve stopped at a respectful distance. Looking nervously between Tony and Deadpool, Steve squared his shoulders and said, “Alright, we’re here. You said Tony was in danger.”

“He came to save you!” Deadpool exclaimed, flailing his arms as the other three flinched. “After everything, after all this time! Gosh, I said I wasn’t gonna cry…” Fanning a hand at his face, he continued, “Okay, back to the first thing. See the smoldering wreckage of that space ship over there?”

They all spun to look where he was pointing, and gaped in horror at the space ship that was indeed smoldering ominously on the horizon.

“When were you going to point _that_ out?” Tony asked as Steve and Bucky paled beside him.

“I literally just did,” Deadpool said slowly. “Try to keep up. A spaceship full of villains was sent to earth by an even bigger villain named Thanos, a purple alien who wants to blah blah blah, murder and mayhem, no one cares because I’ve already handled it. You’re welcome.” He dusted off his hands. The others continued to stare. “By your lack of applause and high-fives, I’m going to assume you haven’t met him yet. Believe me, he’s bad news, but never fear! I went up against Thanos a while back, so this isn't my first rodeo.” *See Deadpool Vs. Thanos (2015) #1

Steve blinked. "Is that an asterisk floating over your head?"

"...No?"

Deadpool thumbed through a little red notebook, a small pair of reading glasses perched on his nose. “So to recap: evil aliens in space ships coming to get us, but not to worry, I had a plan!” he exclaimed, tossing the notebook and glasses aside. “And to put it into action, I called the Avengers!"

Tony held up his hand, pointing between himself and Steve. "News flash, Red Menace: we _are_ the Avengers."

"No, I brought in the big guns," Deadpool said, laughing, "which is funny, because they don't actually use guns. I know that if you need to save the day, you need-"

He gestured dramatically as a man in a black and purple tac suit leapt from a nearby awning down onto the sidewalk, bow drawn.

"The Amazing Hawkeye and Ant-Man!" Deadpool clapped and cheered while the others continued to look baffled. Clint straightened, looking this way and that for threats, before stowing his bow and pausing to catch his breath. He opened a small pouch on his belt, and seconds later Ant-Man materialized at his side.

“Has Deadpool explained everything?” Clint asked, looking between Tony and Steve.

“No!” Tony said sharply, waving his sunglasses around in agitation. “And seriously: Deadpool? What does that even _mean?_ ”

“ _That’s_ your question?” Scott asked, powering down his helmet with a relieved sigh. “We just saved the universe from a megalomaniacal alien and you want to know why his name isn’t Sargent Sword?”

“Yeah, I’m a little curious,” Tony shot back, “about who this guy his, and how he thought you and Robin Hood could help him save the world.”

“The _universe_.”

“Whatever!” 

“It was amazing!” Scott gushed, pointing at the alien ship behind them. “Deadpool confronted Thanos while me and Hawkeye-“

“No time!” Deadpool cried, holding up a gloved hand in front of Scott’s face. “We can tell them about my amazing plan and your heroics later, my friend. We’ve got bigger fish to fry.”

“Bigger than aliens?” Steve asked.

“It’s all been leading up to this moment,” Deadpool continued, as if Steve hadn’t spoken. “The tragic plot twist; the final battle; the dissolution of an amazing team of heroes.” He took a shaky breath, then added, “And now, the tearful reunion, and their triumphant return! Who wants to start?”

“How do you know about- wait, are you filming this?” Tony asked, watching as Deadpool finished setting up a tripod that came seemingly out of nowhere.

“Don’t look at the camera, look at each other,” Deadpool said encouragingly as he adjusted the focus. “Now show him the phone, Tony. Show him proof that you haven’t given up on his friendship.”

Tony opened his mouth, and, shockingly, no sound came out. He snapped it shut, looked skyward in frustration, and dug the little flip phone out of his pocket. “I was… actually thinking about calling,” he said, looking sideways at Steve. “Probably one of my crazier ideas, but not as crazy as this conversation.”

“Okay, fantastic,” Deadpool said, motioning for Steve to move closer to Tony. “Okay, you’re both in the frame. Tell him, Steve. Tell him it’s going to be okay.”

“Ummm…”

“Tell him about Wakanda,” Deadpool prompted.

“Well, Princess Shuri was able to come up with some sort of… neural therapy for Bucky,” Steve began awkwardly, darting nervous glances at their eager cameraman, “and the Winter Soldier can’t be triggered anymore. He doesn’t have all of his memories back, but it’s more than we could’ve hoped for. He had no control over his actions before, and the person he is now is very sorry for the pain he’s caused. Especially to you. For what it's worth, so am I.”

When Tony didn’t scoff or turn away, Steve added, “I talked with T’Challah about the heavy mantle of leadership, and how authority, _proper_ authority, is needed for a stable society. I’m sorry about how it all happened, but HYDRA really threw a wrench into things. I’m sorry about how that affected our team and our friendship, and I'm sorry I betrayed your trust. I’m willing to work with the UN in the future, as long as we’re rooting out HYDRA every step of the way. I hope we can do that… together.” He pulled his own phone from his jacket pocket and held it out like a peace offering.

Deadpool wiped at an invisible tear from his mask and sniffed loudly. “That was beautiful.” Turning to Tony, he said softly, “Your turn, Big Guy. What do you say to that?”

Tony chewed the inside of his cheek, thinking hard. Finally, he said, “Everyone on this team has a past. Your buddy’s not the only one who was a merchant of death.” He sighed. “We work hard and stand together, _as a team_ , every day, to atone for it. But I can only work with you, work on _forgiving_ you, if you promise to stand with us. With _me_.”

Steve nodded. “I can promise to have your back, no matter what. If you’ll have ours.”

Tony nodded. “Deal.”

“Perfect!” Deadpool cried, and they all jumped. “Now shake hands!”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Tony snapped.

“I’m exactly where I need to be, Mr. Fancy Beard,” Deadpool said coolly. “C’mon, like this.” He held up two hand puppets that bore a striking resemblance to Tony and Steve. Positioning them in front of the camera, he made their little hands shake; in a breathy voice, he said, “'Oh, Tony, your friendship means the world to me! It’s my great honor to fight at your side!' 'You, Steve, are proof that I have a heart, because our hearts beat as one. Kiss me you fool!'”

“I should’ve never taken up jogging,” Tony said faintly, as the others watched in horror. “I must be having a stroke.”

“Sir, that’s…” Steve stammered, gripping Bucky’s arm and looking rather faint, “We’re not-“

Deadpool groaned, tucking the puppets into an inprobable pocket. “It’s called artistic license. Calm down, Captain Beefcake. We all know Stucky is endgame.”

An awkward silence fell as every head turned their way. Steve’s cheeks flamed. Bucky just kept a firm grip on Steve’s arm to keep him from falling over.

“Well, this has been… bizarre,” Clint said finally. “Should we, I don’t know… track down the rest of the team? Make sure there’s no space debris lying around?”

Tony had already switched out his flip-phone for his Starkphone and was tapping away. “I’ll get some cleanup crews in place. Spider-Kid told me what happened last time, so I’ll be sure to hire local.”

“And before Deadpool brought us here,” Steve said, “we received word from Natasha and the remnants of SHIELD. They found an alien ship of their own, but when they got to the crash site they found Thor and Bruce inside, unharmed.”

“Wait, seriously?” Clint said, and Steve nodded. “How is that even-“

“No time!” Deadpool said again. “Now that the threat’s been handled, you’ve got to get the team back together!”

“There wasn’t time for explanations,” Scott said, “but there was time for _puppets_?”

“There’s _always_ time for puppets.”

Deadpool backed away slowly as the others resumed their conversation, the camera once again in his hand. Steve was speaking to the others, a determined look on his face. Tony would occasionally look up from his phone and throw in his two cents. “Although they stood against dastardly foes and impossible odds, all that mattered was that they stood together. _For justice_.”

“You know we can still hear you, right?”

“Spread your wings, you beautiful, broken birds. Spread your wings and _fly_.”

~

Deadpool dusted off his hands, viewing the retreating heroes through misty eyes. “And the day is saved. Man, I'm awesome.”

“Nice work.”

Turning, Deadpool smiled at the blonde woman who had materialized at his shoulder. “Captain, hey! Everything went great; Project Friendship was a success,” he said, giving her a thumbs up. “Thanks for letting me take the credit, by the way. I’m _this close_ to getting an invite to one of Tony Stark’s pool parties. Though I’m still not sure why you didn’t just go in and handle things yourself.”

Captain Marvel just smiled. “A leader knows when to delegate. And you were just the man for the job.”

“Thanks!” he said, face lighting up beneath the mask. “Things couldn’t have gone better. And you were right, Hawkeye and Ant-Man really stepped up to the plate. People don’t give them enough credit.” He stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Maybe I should put together a team of my own, so we could have this much fun all the time!”

Captain Marvel chuckled. “Good luck with that. And thanks for keeping this between us.”

Deadpool mimed pulling a zipper across his lips. “When do you think you’ll meet them face to face?”

“Soon,” she said solemnly. “There’s lots of work to be done, but they had to work through their own issues first. Only as a team united can we stand against whatever challenges come our way.”

“That’s a great line; can I use that with my team someday?”

“Go home, Wade.”

Deadpool sent her a lazy salute. “You got it, Boss.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this happened. It's probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever written, but I have no regrets. This paves the way for another fic I've been working on, which is mostly the team hanging out in New York, but it works even better if I can explain away the Infinity War first. 
> 
> And I know people have Very Serious Opinions about the various factions and pairings within the Avengers, and I didn't set out to belittle or dismiss anyone: I just want everyone to be friends again! This is all in good fun. And just another excuse to show how awesome Hawkeye and Ant-Man are ; )
> 
> Thanks for giving this story a chance; I hope you all have a great day, and get to enjoy Endgame in the near future! And if you want another break from serious canon, feel free to come back and read my fic about the team giving Steve and Bucky a tour of modern NYC; I plan on posting it Friday : )


End file.
